2 Faced Shame

בּוֹשׁ - look familiar? Me neither, what about this word: Shame. Or maybe you are reading it like this -

SHAME

. Shame is so close it’s as if it’s branded on our foreheads for the world to see. Some of the most disastrous spiritual detours I’ve made can be traced back to this phenomenon. Is shame the enemy? What is it and how should we respond? Shame has a lot of potential energy for uncomfortable growth even though it feels like death. While there are more nuances to its usage, let’s look at the primary meaning of this Hebrew word bosh - “to fall into disgrace, normally through failure, either of self or of an object of trust.[1]”

That definition surely rang true for the Israelites. Their dealings with God reveal a surprising angle of shame - it is deserved at times. Israel was certainly not chosen by God for her strength, size, or military agility. After all, God rescued Israel in a traumatized state as slaves in Egypt. God was patient and worked hard to build up her reservoir of trust. Think about witnessing even half of those plagues and then surviving to see water gush out of a rock. But God’s mighty acts were forgotten, God was forgotten. Strongly related to shame, is trust. In pain, loss, and unexpected, unwanted change we do exactly what the Israelites did - forget and romanticize the past. Other times, we shirk responsibility for our agency by blaming everything on the devil. While he certainly entices the flesh, we listen to his deception and allow the enemy’s advances. Lot’s wife looked back rejecting God’s warning to not entertain Egypt in her heart. So, the story of Israel is definitely a messy wrestling match - between trusting in God, or anything else. God always wins. And God promised to shame them. So, it’s important to remember that if shame is a bad word for us that always get’s us off the hook, we are not thinking with this narrative in mind.

In the book of Isaiah, God calls out Judah’s vain offerings, the mindless religious boxes they were checking off as they proceeded in sin (Isaiah 1:1-15, ESV). Their hands were full of blood and from head to foot they were “sick” and without “soundness.” Even the land was desolate. They were defenseless to their enemies. The consequences of their sin resulted in the Lord bringing shame and dishonor to them. Their trust was in their appetites and foreign nations like Cush and Egypt. Jesus said it this way to the Pharisees, “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Vain worship continues today when we do not turn from our sin, but somehow compensate for it by other good deeds. Soon enough we replace God’s word, with our words. What speck exists in your eye that is blinding you to the reality that the enemy has snuck in the back door of your home? Have you forgotten that Egypt is no longer your home?

The prophet Jeremiah was appalled by the lacking remorse expressed when he said, “No, they were not at all ashamed; they did not know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,” says the LORD.” (6:15). So there is an inner experience of shame expressed outwardly. The pigment of our cheeks can be an indication of our heart state. What should they have been blushed about? Their idolatry. May I ask, does your face reveal the sin you are nurturing in your heart? Shame is a warning sign; when you see red on those cheeks, it’s time to rethink your loyalties. So, it is better to feel shame at times than confidence in shameful acts. Red cheeks and a bruised ego are way better than a seared conscience; when your cheeks should be red and aren’t, your heart is accruing callouses. It’s amazing how the spiritual and physical come together in His word.

Then, there is a shame that degrades, minimizes, makes us feel like an ant but without the strength, it’s a dirty feeling that quickens our feet to run back to Egypt. This kind of shame results from the sin done against us that causes us to mistrust, to shrink away into the shadows. Shameful things done to us have a way of perpetuating shameful acts done by us. Unfortunately, the relationship between trauma and substance use has been well established in literature as well as Israel’s history. The list is endless for the sins of living in this broken world that threaten to crush us. But there is a better way to face shame done to us.

Consider the two faces of shame we are talking about - the shame done by us and to us - as depicted by some old family friends - David and the bleeding women. Because we will still have a sin nature, we will inevitably face shame. But I would remind you to resist the urge to run, hide, be silent, and self-destruct. David’s adultery with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah caused him to be silent, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3). David describes God’s hand as being “heavy” on him. David was zapped of his energy and God’s disapproval brought him low. What a contrast defeating Goliath as a young boy to this picture of a middle aged king on the verge of breathing his last breath. Shame is like a form of death and David expresses this truth effectively. While we like to highlight David’s errors, he is still a picture of Christ and an example to be emulated. David confessed his sin. David drew near to God with a blushed face. God brought him low to restore him and raise him up again to a place of honor. David did not mumble against the sword that was promised to not depart from David’s house as a result of his sin. He did not retreat into the wilderness. Isn’t it sweet that God knows what we are saying and thinking and yet he still wants us to come to him? Do you remember that God disciplines those he loves, and will use all things for your good?

And then there is the bleeding woman, no source of sin to be found for her 12 years of grief. A good reminder for the legalists of the world, who want to be like Job’s friends; when sin is not known, let’s suspend with story telling as if we are the author of another believer’s story. Presumption brings pain. This unnamed woman could not enter the temple, or society in any meaningful way. She was poor, in pain, a party of one. But not without faith. Her desperation and trust motioned her hand towards the fringe of Jesus’ garment. And when Jesus drew her out of the crowd with the possibility of facing more reproach, more shame, she spoke. Just like David, she trusted, she came, she spoke. She found healing.

There are so many more biblical voices singing in harmony with our songs of shame. Will we accept God’s commands when they are black and white? And humbly receive the discipline when there’s known sin? Will we pray fervently in whatever shame comes to try and rob us of peace? Will we seek the Promise Land or look back? Will we trust God when he says to you as the east is from the west, so far do I remove your transgressions? (Psalm 103:12).

However strong the urge is for you to run, to fight God, to begrudge others, to isolate, remember verses 16-18 in the first chapter of Isaiah, “Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”

While these may verses may read like another burden of responsibility,
remember God has already fulfilled these things. He has already made you clean. He wants to reason with you. His word cleanses and restores. He already did what you can’t do by dying for you. You can sow seeds of righteousness. Find peace that you are not responsible for the growth of those seeds. His Spirit will not leave his children; they are a seal, a token of his eternal faithfulness. Working out your salvation is not a solo effort. In the face of shame, run to the Father, fight the self-condemnation, forgive, forego the idols, seek wisdom, find footing against the enemy knowing God’s Spirit is in you. The enemy will be shamed to the lowest parts of hell, as his trusting children will be honored above the angels.

Ponder

How has shame operated in my life? When I feel shame, or experience shame what do I do? What goes through my head? What stories do I replay to incriminate myself and stir up mistrust? How can I have regret, yet love God and others in the midst of it?What lessons has shame taught me about my desires/weaknesses,God’s holiness, his love, etc.?In what ways, have I misplaced trust in God?How has God shown me honor, grace, forgiveness recently?What do I need to let go of so I can experience more peace and satisfaction in the Lord? How do I imagine the Father after I sin, or experience shame against me? Do I think he is for me, against me?What has the world taught you about shame, how does this align/not align with the shame discussed in this article?How has God helped me move through shame? What wisdom can be found in the victories I/others around me have had in the past with shame?

Practice

Develop a plan to prevent anticipated sins - the Bible often says to flee and to put our armor on. The next time you feel shame, talk to God first and pray that you would receive his forgiveness if there was known sin on your part. Pray for your enemies, when others shame you. Think about how Jesus responded to shame for 5 minutes.Spend 5 minutes reviewing scripture about your identity in Christ. Choose 2 verses to memorize about God’s love for you, his promises, his mercy. Ask other believers how they have experienced shame, how God has shown up in their shame, and what they learned from their experiences. Write these down to recall when you shame comes knocking. Consider if you are holding yourself to a standard that Christ doesn’t hold you to the next time you experience shame caused by sin.

PrayerGood Father, Thank you for making a way for us. You lead us on a narrow path, but you don’t leave us alone. You know what will harm us and so you warn us to stay right. Our flesh wants to pull us left. We feel shame when we do not listen to you. At the heart of sin, is pride. We think we can escape your discipline. We want to listen to our feelings. We even use your words against you, we twist them, we insert things into passages that don’t exist. Your fellowship is better than anything we might think we need in the moment. Continue to be patient with us. Continue to remind us of who you really are. We can came to you! It is the best and safest option. Please, give us the ears, the eyes, the heart to see your love for us. Christ is written on every page of your holy word. Help us love all of you Lord. Help us to not attack your character by neglecting your body. Don’t allow us to retreat into shame and solitude. Unite us, bind us. Help us to correct others who are walking head first into shame! You lift our heads. You prepare a table for us. You have conquered death. You lead us beside still waters. Help us love what you love and hate what you hate. Thank you for giving us honor, you gave us yourself. In Jesus’ name, amen.